Many of you may be in contact with someone suffering with an eating disorder, and if you aren't right now, you may be in the future. I am often asked for advice as to how to help them, and am more than happy always to advise. I gave the following advice today, and I believe it may be of some help.
If your friend is suffering, and is receiving professional help what you have to remember is that there is a really deep, underlying issue that is the reason for her illness. Hard and wierd though this may seem, the best thing for you to do is not to asddress or discuss food. She will only be able to eat when she is happy and healed in her mind, emotionally. What you can try and do is come from her angle. Tell her you know she is really unhappy, ask her if she can try and describe to you how she is feeling, what she is worried about and what scares her. When people are suffering with anorexia its all too easy for friends, family and carers to take a strict, authoratative role and tell them what to do, its all too easy to see the sufferer as a stubborn person causing trouble and being difficult. They're not. They're very hurt, very distressed, frightened, bewldered and deeply sad. By the sounds of it you're one of the last people she still trusts and the key is for you both to mainitain that trust. When you're with her, see her and treat her like she is: your best friend who is hurt. Don't treat her or act around her any differrently now she is ill to before. This is key to her recovery. See her and treat her for the friend and who she is. She is being consumed by an illness she doesn't understand. You need to remind her that the girl she is is still there.
It is a long fight for everybody. But it is a fight with a victorious outcome... if that is what you ALL choose.
Love and warmth,
Anna - Katharina xxx
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