Treat yourself as you would treat a best friend

In the middle of last week I reached a stress level higher than Mount Everest…tears streaming, heart racing, panic setting in, food feeling like a death warrant… nothing could have been worse…and yet, there was absolutely nothing wrong with my life. In fact, my life couldn’t be or have been better. I am settled into second year, the best boyfriend in the world, the best friends any girl could ever ask for, settled in a city I consider to be the most wonderful in the world… why then was I so desperately unhappy? Why did I just want to curl up into a ball and cry and cry?

During a therapeutic phone call to my dad, a man with mystical calming powers, I sensed a long pause before he announced to me, ‘’You need to learn to watch TV’’. Not something said by many to many, but something all my friends and my boyfriend in particular would second. That same day I happened to flick open a book I had used during the anorexia of little quotes that helped me through, and the one the page fell open on was, ‘’treat yourself as you would treat your best friend’’.

‘’treat yourself as you would your best friend’’

What if I did? If I did, I wouldn’t beat myself up after every extra piece of chocolate, I wouldn’t tell myself I was a failure if I hadn’t done as much work as other people, I wouldn’t feel guilty for sitting down and relaxing for five minutes, I wouldn’t bully myself to the point of mentally self-destroying myself every time I felt I could have done something better.

If I treated myself as I would treat a best friend I would wake up every morning and be glad to see the reflection looking back at me in the mirror, I would forgive not destroy myself, I would allow myself to relax for more than two minutes, I would support myself instead of constantly criticise who I was.

And the result? A happier, relaxed me who wouldn’t wake up and feel like she’d signed her own prison sentence by oversleeping for five minutes. Maybe if we all treated ourselves as we would treat our best friends there would be more pride in what we did, a greater willingness to share what we have to share, a more relaxed and happy world, less centred on what we would change about ourselves, and instead more focused on what we should celebrate and keep the same and cherish.

Maybe.