Last night I had a nightmare - a flashback to the time with anorexia. I woke up shaking and unsettled, and struggled with breakfast, every mouthful I ate was ridden with guilt.
It wasn't until I had showered, dressed and was ready to leave for uni that I suddenly calmed down - it was only a dream. It was about the past, it wasn't now. Two years ago the guilt would have prevented me from finishing my breakfast, this morning I ignored the guilt and finished it.
We cannot be separated from our past - it is ours just as much as our bodies are, but it cannot affect us any more, it cannot hurt us. It is in the past, it is gone and you have only the memory of it. The memory may be painful, and it may not be happy, but it is only a memory.
Do not let the past restrict your present and your future. Learn from it, cherish it... then let it go. It was there to serve a purpose - to give you experience in order to be able to deal with the future. But don't let it continue to torment you: it doesn't define you any more, so let it go.
Just because I felt guilty for eating in the past, doesn't mean that I should now.
And always remember...
Yesterday is history
Tomorrow is a mystery,
Today is a gift.
So enjoy it :)
Love and warmth,
Anna-Katharina
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