Triggers

There are all sort of things that we come across every day that can trigger things from the past - a date of an anniversary, a particular spot where you met or lost a loved one, a smell that reminds you of a particular day in your childhood... and some of these triggers can be extremely uncomfortable.

Yesterday, I was cooked for by someone else, and the meal was far bigger than I was used to. I felt really full and bloated. Suddenly, the anorexia seemed to come flooding back and I was filled with a dreadful fear and guilt; I couldn't rest, I couldn't look myself in the mirror. I was terrified I'd wake up huge and worthless.

But I took a deep breath. I was not suffering from anorexia any more, being full did not mean I was worthless. This was simply a trigger, a reminder; it didn't mean what my mind was telling me it meant. A few frantic phonecalls to close friends later, and a small pep talk to myself I had calmed down.

There are some occurrences in every day life which will cause past traumas to resurface, past hurts to cause pain. But each time we do we just have to acknowledge them, feel them, and let them go. Don't be afraid of them, you've been there before, you are equipped to deal with them this time. Call on those you love and trust to help you, to support you and to be there. You don't have to do it alone.

Always remember who you are, where you've come from, where you're going, and who you've got going with you.

Love and warmth, xxxxxx