Waitressing at a hen party last night, I heard the bride to be confess that she was 'terrified'. In a quiet voice to her gathered friends and female members of her family, she admitted 'I'm dreading that moment when I walk in, when everyone looks at me'. This woman was beautiful, she was glowing with being in love and the excitement her future had in store for her, and she was surrounded by a big table of close family and friends.
Some of us are terrified of being in the limelight; we are scared of being judged and embarrassed, and so we hide away and merge into the shadows. But who is it we actually going to be judged by? Yes it is true that if one makes a bad entrance into a room, people may question you, and if you are rude they may decide to dislike you. But you and I know you were not planning to be rude when you enter that room, nor are you planning to bully everyone in there; you were merely planning to walk in and join in. So therefore, the judgement we so often fear is judgement from ourselves.
And we can take this away.
Why should we judge ourselves critically? A small piece of constructive criticism is arguably useful; that top is too slutty to wear it out so change, for example. But not this constant 'they don't want to look at you', 'why would they want to talk to you', 'they think you are ridiculous'. Time to ditch this. Instead, remind yourself that everyone else in that room is probably far more occupied judging themselves and worrying what you may be thinking of them! So compliment yourself before and as you walk in, believe you have a right to be there, believe people want to talk to you... and they will.
If the bride has the right to walk in to the church on her own wedding day, you have the right to be present, wherever you are.
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